Just picked up on the AP:

No, That’s Not a Penis Pump, Mom. Really

CHICAGO (AP) — Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn’t want her to know he’d packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey. So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.

Madin Azad Amin was stopped by officials on Aug. 16 after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.

When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb, said Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.

He later told officials he’d lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn’t want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said.

He’s been charged with felony disorderly conduct, said Andrew Conklin, a spokesman with the Cook County state’s attorney’s office.

Amin faces up to three years in prison if convicted.

I just found out this morning that Bob Reynolds is performing “Turbine” with the USC Thornton Wind Ensemble. This, of course, is fantastic news, as they, in my opinion, are the best wind ensemble in the country. The low brass can’t be beat, and they’re going to play the hell out of “Turbine.”

The bummer with this is that I already have an engagement on that same date. I’ll be traveling to the University of Kansas for a performance of “Turbine” on that very same night. In fact, with the time difference, the performances will only be two hours apart. (It’s a shame I can’t fly quickly enough to attend both.)

Now that I live in LA, and USC is 10 minutes away, at least I’ll be able to attend rehearsals prior to the concert. And it’s not like the Kansas performance won’t be great, too. (Just check out their Naxos recording of “Redline Tango.”) But wow — of all the performances to have to miss, this one kills me.

I’m sending AEJ to USC in my place, and am considering having a rubber mask made of my face. That way she could bow for me. Newman suggested that AEJ just bow while holding up a portrait of me. I’m not sure which way I’ll go yet. Probably the best option is for her to bow without any picture or mask of me at all, since she’s a lot prettier than I am.

Yes, there are double posts today because I couldn’t get Blogger to post yesterday’s entry until today. Lots to read — none of it substantive.

Some have noticed my collection of old school calculator watches. This one was first:

Classic. “Time”less. When you change the battery, the date defaults to January 1, 1985. It’s tough to beat.

But AEJ managed. She found me this one online a little over a year ago — for when I have to dress formally. (It looks like steel, but don’t be fooled. It’s painted plastic.)

I did a little more online shopping at vintage watch internet stores, and I just ordered this one. It’s really supposed to be for AEJ, but I think I might be borrowing it on occasion — like, when I’m pimpin.

And I just won an Ebay auction for this watch, which I’ve wanted since I was 10 years old. It’s an original Pac-Man video game watch. I remember this cool kid who had one when I was in, like, 4th grade. I was so jealous. At the time, I thought he was really rich, ’cause he had this sweet watch. What’s funny is that the watch probably cost $20 back then — and I paid several times over that to get the same watch today. I consider it an investment. I mean, gems like this will appreciate forever, right?

Unrelated… AEJ and I made a crazy-delicious dinner last night: Beef Burgundy with mashed potatoes. It’s basically just beef, slow cooked in red wine and a bouquet garni of carrots, onions, parsley thyme, etc. With AEJ’s signature mashed potatoes, this is one of the tastiest dinners we’ve made. Since all of the above photos are just pulled from websites, here are two pics of our dinner. Neither picture is spectacular — but it’s hard to make beef look like much. Next time you’re in town, give us some notice, and we’ll cook it for you in person.